4/25/22 - Editor's Letter

We hope you are having a great day, PILLBOX readers — but we hope that we can make your day just a little better. We have a selection of calmer articles this week, for people on the winddown before the final "Omega Grind" of the year begins. Our theme this week is "White Heat." It's been blatantly sweltering this week, and we hope these little articles of protest will return us to the Pittsburgh weather we love and hold so dearly.

First on deck, we have a lovely article by Anna Cappella, all about Olivia Rodrigo's proto-sophomoric effort "driving home 2 u." Lovers of comprehensive takes will love the full throated analysis of themes of the movie, and lovers of hot takes will love her scathing critiques on artificiality.

Then we have two articles by the thankfully inimitable Zachary Gelman. One a comprehensive vaguely humorous analysis of a large variety of sparkling water flavors stylistically as mentioned in the "Calvin and Hobbes" bubblegum magazine strip, the other an Onion style article on the phenomenon of the first gay Disney character.

Haley Williams returns with a movie review about "There Will Be Blood," featuring Paul Dano, who's living rent-free in her head. Danophiles rejoice, your unconventionally attractive king is back in the spotlight for one more week. But don't worry, once he's gone I'm sure you'll find another quirky softboy to latch on to.

Zivan Vasquez drops one spicy satirical masterpiece: an "Undercover Boss" setup involving the Ku Klux Klan. His imagination somehow has still not reached any bounds, and as his second to last week as a Carnegie Mellon student, we hope he comes out in full force for our final issue next week.

Given to us by the grace of God, finally we have some beautiful poems written by Anna Lulushi. Fake fans will weep that they didn't take the chance to get acquainted with Lulushisms before the Milk and Honey style contract. I'd be very wary to pass these three poems by.

Bless up reader, the semester is almost over.

With blood, sweat, and tears,
Zachary Gelman & Pria Dahiya