Biological study and mental health researchers discover that all men are actually ducks
All men are, in fact, ducks. Think about it. Let it sink in. It makes sense. Still not convinced? A team of biologists and psychologists conducted a study...
Campus Crime & Incident Reports
Arrests of Suspicious People Marnegie Cellon Police Department (MCPD) responded to a complaint from a university student that there was a collection...
Forbes & Beeler to open exclusively to Pitt Students, new community to be created
In an exclusive interview with The Natrat, Director of Housing Education and Lavish Lounging (HELL) Rich Mann stated that upon Forbes & Beeler’s opening...
White residents force colorful counterparts out of their homes
Chips of all colors were forcibly removed from their home in the UC vending machine last month, replaced by bougie white residents. One former resident,...
Pour one out for the maskfishers
As Carnegie Mellon’s mask mandate ends, most people are relishing their regained freedom, but there’s one vulnerable group we must keep in our hearts:...
Reacting for Business
In an unparalleled jaunt of investigative journalism, The Natrat went undercover to sit in on the new Reacting for Business class. It is the sequal to...
Natrat exclusive: Scotch'n'Soda is actually an Andrew Mellon cult
Upon a recent check of everyone’s favorite organization website, “The Bridge,” I stumbled across a little-known organization called “Scotch’n’Soda.” I...
The Natrat reviews: The Tartan
As we near the week of Carnegie Mellon's Spring Carnival, the community takes time to reflect on the year behind us and the home stretch ahead. For...
Tuition and you: Why it's not less, and you should want more
Many oceans could be filled with the tears of students who cry about tuition costs. Several blimps could take flight with the hot air spewed by undergrads...
Frats adopt 'gay philosophy' to better embrace Greek roots
Democracy. Geometry. Homosexuality. The Greeks have given us many things. But while we can vote for the best queen at a Pythagorean drag show, not all...
Football team adopts classism to beat D1 opponents
Carnegie Mellon football is a many-headed beast, full of talent, sweat, and spandex. However, more than brute strength, Tartan players must leverage their...
An interview with a student (definitely not) selling his soul to the corporate machine
Chase Buckley is no average American. He is from Westchester, NY, and he’s so quirky and different that he even plays lacrosse. Once a socialist who supported...
University plans to make carnival virtual, citing rain and COVID risk
It was a dire day on Friday, when student government officials learned of Carnegie Mellon’s terrible plan. Due to the usual forecast of rain and a little...
Chartwells adopts 'Ratatouille kinda situation' in response to understaffing
“I don’t think we’ll ever go back,” said Chartwells Carnegie Mellon location supervisor Jim Jerries. It should come as no surprise that food service all...