Sports

Foul Play: In which the author celebrates the demise of OU

Yep, we’re back to making fun of the good ol’ Sooners. They got their ass handed to them by none other than the Kansas Jayhawks, a team that Lance Leipold singlehandedly converted from the bottom-feeders of the conference to a respectable football game that’s going bowling twice in two years, something I’m sure they’ve done before. Hold on, just got something from the back, nope, Kansas is going bowling twice in a row for the first time in program history. Congrats Sooners, that’s the team y’all lost to.

But enough schadenfreude about Oklahoma’s loss last week, it’s time to celebrate in their misery this week. Because OU — after beating Texas, getting a top 10 ranking, looking like a team that could feasibly go to the playoffs — dropped a second game to Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State, the team that had, until yesterday, won just 19 of the 117 games between them and the Sooners, pulled off the upset to beat Oklahoma 27-24 in what was one of the most absurd results of a relatively boring slate of games last week. I was rooting for a few more upsets, but K-state and Mizzou couldn’t deliver, so all I get to enjoy is the tears of Oklahoma.

Honestly, it’s a fitting end to Bedlam, a rivalry that was played uninterrupted from 1910 until the executives at ESPN decided OU and UT would be better as middling SEC teams instead of the big dogs of the Big 7/8/12. It’s mind-boggling that there are 11 Big 7 Championship trophies and Oklahoma has all of them. The two teams essentially ran the conference, along with their pals Nebraska and Colorado for decades, and now they’re just… gone.

So it’s gotta be sweet that in two of the last three matchups, and most importantly, in the last Bedlam game for the foreseeable future, Oklahoma State was able to stick it to their big brothers and show them that ain’t nobody leaving this conference happy.

The game itself was spectacular, and my favorite part remains State playing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” as the Sooners slunk off the field. Colorado invented playing Taylor Swift after particularly embarrassing victories, and personally, I fully believe more teams should pick up on it. I wanna see “Blank Space” the next time someone gets shut out.

Besides that, this last week in college ball wasn’t really all that spectacular. Georgia, Michigan, and Ohio State all pulled off the victories we fully expected them too, Florida State did something I guess and beat Pitt. Washington had a goddamned shootout against the University of Second Choice and somehow USC continues to fail to put together a good product on defense. In 2023, USC has held P5 opponents below 28 exactly once, and that was against Stanford. They gave up 49 to Cal, 52 to Washington, 48 to the Irish, and 41 to both Arizona and CU.

But sure, Lincoln Riley can make his quarterbacks look good when they somehow have to put up five scores to even look competitive in the game. USC has looked more than a little lethargic after their close win over Arizona, dropping three of four with not much respite left on the rest of their record. I am absolutely here to watch Oregon beat him so bad he has to take an ambulance home.

I’m ignoring Colorado because Coach Prime doesn’t deserve my attention, Alabama is somehow a good team again — I don’t know who Saban sacrificed but apparently the football devil is back, and Texas is fraud. Goodnight, goodbye, and yes, this is a USC hatepage now.