Zachary Gelman Pillbox Editor

Class of 2025


  • Math Victor M. Bearg lecture: Creating numbers out of nothing

    On Thursday, I had the pleasure of sitting in on Carnegie Mellon alumnus Manil Suri’s “thesis defense.” Well, it wasn’t exactly a thesis defense; that’s more of a pun. Manil Suri’s new book, “The Big Bang of Numbers: How to Build the Universe Using Only Math,” is centered upon the idea of building the universe with math, hence the lecture title “Victor M. Bearg Lecture: What if We Built the Univer...

    SciTech | October 30, 2023
  • Hell, make them cost 20 cents

    "Beginning October 14th, 2023, all retail establishments (grocery stores, restaurants, convenience stores, big box stores, etc.) operating within the City of Pittsburgh are prohibited from providing a single-use plastic bag or a non-recycled paper bag to a customer at checkout or through delivery." Additionally, for paper bags to be distributed at checkouts, they must cost at minimum 10 cents per ...

    Forum | October 2, 2023
  • Learn some damn bus etiquette kids

    With September comes falling leaves, gray, and new yinzers that don’t know anything about nothing, least of all proper bus etiquette. When you’re taking the 61A or 61B or even the 61C (so infrequent nowadays) down to Oakland for some tacos or milkshakes or whatever, you gotta follow the unwritten rules, or else one day they’ll become written rules, and you’ll face up to seven years in prison and/o...

    Forum | September 18, 2023
  • How to transfer to another school

    Congratulations, you have completed your lifetime project! You dedicated between one and 18 years of your life to get into your parents’ dream school, and it landed you here. I know how important it was for you (your parents) to come study at the United States’ best drama program / best computer science program / top 250 English program / most mediocre physics program. Hopefully your O-week was as...

    Pillbox | September 18, 2023
  • Two RadioShacks in the mall lot

    A rolling stop turned regular stop
    Out for the combination Taco Bell Little Caesars
    Or a sprint to the Walmies with
    A Dunkin’ inside, and more.
    And across it all, the RadioShack
    And from there, another looking back...

    Pillbox | September 18, 2023

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