$ Movie

Before Sunset
(Wednesday, 7:30, 10, and 12:30)

Though most probably won?t realize it, this movie is a sequel. Perhaps if they had kept its working title, Before Sunrise 2, people would be able to figure it out. At any rate, it probably won?t get as bad as Two and a Half Weeks from Next Friday, or whatever they?re up to now. This film has Ethan Hawke running into Julie Delpy nine years after they first met, and now they have a chance to catch up on lovemaking and whatever else people do in romantic comedies. (Oh, right, long stretches of dialogue.)
The Saddest Music in the World
(Thursday, 8, 10, and 12)

It looks like TBA is coming early this year, as we have Brent Neale playing the role of Polish Penis. This movie has a beer baroness from Depression-era Winnipeg looking for the saddest music in the world, and offering $25,000 for it. She has a glass leg or two, and she stores beer in it or them. Makes sense. Note: I have just been informed that Brent actually plays Polish Pianist. Come to think of it, the Great Depression setting would make for really bad porn. But that seems to be the only kind AB brings to campus.

Laws of Attraction
(Friday,10, and 12)

Good God. Pierce Brosnan decided he wasn?t satisfied butchering Bond films and went on to ruin the romantic comedy genre. Brosnan is a divorce lawyer who nonetheless believes in the power of love, marriage, and the American way. That, or the Irish way, which seems to involve a lot of alcohol. If you want to have the whole movie spoiled, go read the first review on IMDB. I won?t spoil it for you, except to say that I dislike Brosnan as an actor, and anything that he makes is crap.

The Day After Tomorrow
(Saturday, 7:30, 10, and 12:30)

The only things larger than all the meteorological phenomena pounding the world in this movie are the gaping plot holes. Sure, science fiction movies have a long and proud tradition of leaning more towards the fiction than the science, but the purpose of that is to tell a realistic story within the unrealistic framework. Character motivation is key ? why would the main character let his son go away when he knows the Ice Age is coming? Because if he didn?t, there wouldn?t be a movie.

Office Space
(Sunday, 8, 10, and 12)

You?ve almost certainly seen this movie. Several people on your floor have it on DVD, and at least one unfortunate soul has entire scenes memorized. So why see it in McConomy? To start, you?ve got all the drunk people at the late showings. It?s one thing to watch it drunk with friends, and another thing to watch it with drunk strangers who might have diseases. Much more exciting. If you?re one of the few who hasn?t caught this movie yet, go see it and understand what ?Swingline stapler? means. That?s an order.