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It's French! It's got cannibalism! Well, that makes sense. French people eat well, so they would taste the best? Uh, right, the movie. This movie is set after the Apocalypse, but instead of dealing with seven-diademed beasts, an ex-circus clown (Dominique Pinon) has to deal with a landlord who is trying to sell him as fresh meat in a black-market deli. Well, it could be worse. He could be an ex-mime.

Les Triplettes De Belleville

The French theme continues with an animated film involving an orphan boy trying to win the Tour de France. His name is Champion, and he is kidnapped by the French mafia. So Champion's grandmother has to hook up with three old women (the title triplets) in a jazz combo to free him from the French Godfather. There's also a farting dog in there somewhere. Man, the French mafia? Ruthless — mes fesses.

The Ladykillers

This movie has the Coen brothers directing and Tom Hanks acting, so you should see it. More details? Hanks is playing a Southern professor leading a ragtag bunch whose goal is to rob a riverboat casino office. To do this, they rent a room from an old woman and tunnel through. She catches them, and hilarity ensues. Or murder. Or both, even. The Coen brothers can actually hold together a plot this bizarre, and they do so marvelously.


Historical travesty never looked so good, but it never had Brad Pitt before either. Yeah, Homer condensed 10 years of fighting into the Iliad, and the producers here further condensed it into nearly three hours of movie, so you're going to miss some stuff. Like, I don't know, any sort of faithfulness to source material. No gods wandering about, and they made the taking of Briseis far more PC than it really was. Well, for the ladies, you've got some eye candy, like Brad "Joe Black" Pitt, Orlando "Legolas" Bloom, and Eric "Incredible Hulk" Bana.

Buffalo 66

I remember when this movie came out. It was supposed to be Christina Ricci's first adult role (meaning she showed her boobies). Meanwhile, all I could think of was when she played the little girl in the Addams Family movie, and I was creeped out. Anyway, an ex-con kidnaps her from a dance studio to show off to his parents, who don't really care. However, she falls in love with him, even though he's trying to kill the Buffalo Bills kicker who caused him to go to prison. The thing to take from this week's movies: if you kidnap women, they'll fall in love with you. And the French are crazy.