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Dear Janet,

It’s horrible, but I don’t particularly like my sister. She wants to be a doctor and I “just” want to get married and have kids, and my parents have always been prouder of her. I am getting married this summer, and my parents are planning to make me ask her to be my maid of honor. I REALLY don’t want to, because I honestly don’t like her very much. What can I do?

— Marrying Really Soon

Dear MRS,

Are your parents paying for the wedding? If so, as much as you may hate it, they have some say over things. Even if you don’t like her, there’s no reason not to have your sister as a bridesmaid — see if you can sell your parents on that. If they’re determined not to budge, tell them that you’re planning on having two maids of honor. That could be a way to still have your best friend as your maid of honor but placate your parents.

However, if you’re paying for the wedding, well, it’s your show! Unless you think it will cause a major rift between you and your parents, just tell them that your sister is going to be honored as a bridesmaid.

Either way, I hope that you try to spend some time alone with your sister before the wedding. We all tend to have these ideas of who our siblings are, but people change. Find out if it’s just your jealousy that’s keeping you from connecting with her or if you just really don’t enjoy her company.

— Janet

Dear Janet,

I love my boyfriend... the problem is his family. Every time I go to dinner with them, they say really offensive and ignorant things.... I’ve been trying to bite my tongue and not argue with them when they say things that are false or offend me, but I come home from these dinners with the inside of my cheek raw! What should I do?

— Lefty Enduring Family Troubles

Dear LEFT,

One curious omission in your
letter was your boyfriend: What’s his role in this? I don’t know his beliefs or the nature of your relationship, but it’s important
that you find out what he feels about the things his family says.

Because, in all honesty, if anyone should challenge his family, it should be your boy. Everything really depends on his family: You might be able to politely disagree with them or, on the other side of the spectrum, you might just have to make your dinner dates a little less frequent.

— Janet

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