Carnival top fives

Another Carnival, another compilation of top-five lists about the hots and nots of this fabulous weekend — that’s right, we’re seriously channeling Rob Gordon here. Let’s kick things off with the top 5 best aspects of this year’s Carnival.

5. Spoon. Phenomenal and so much better than Phantom Planet. I dare you to openly disagree with me on this one.
4. The Alums. I missed some of y’all. Good to see you again!
3. The rides. That unlimited rides thing on Thursday was 10 different kinds of fantastic. I know these are around every year but nothing compares to stuffing yourself with funnel cake and then spinning around until you puke.
2. The booths. Whether you spent day and night on Midway building one or scampering in and out of all of them over the weekend, you probably had a good time. My personal favorites were the giant cuckoo clock (Phi Kappa Theta) and the gumball machine (Kappa Kappa Gamma).
1. The weather. Did you venture outside this weekend? I’m starting to strongly suspect that there may be a team of maniacal engineers building a weather machine in the seedy underbelly of Wean. Five bucks to anyone who can prove me right.

Top 5 Carnivalicious Hangover Cures

The only problem with a theme such as “Small Things Made Large” is that the drinks tend to come in large, extra large, and magnum sizes. Actually, this is not a problem, but the morning after is a different story. Whether you are a Carnival-bender veteran or a tenderfoot holding on to that toilet bowl for dear life, here are five ways to make that bumpy ride a little smoother.

5. Don’t drink caffeine. The diuretics will only increase the dehydration, making your head hurt worse.
4. Sleep it off. Sure, you have Tear-Down at three, but you might as well just nap til then. It’s not like you’re going to be oh-so-productive anyway.
3. Stop drinking for a while. This may seem a tad obvious, but a little restraint goes a long way.
2. Banana milkshakes. I suppose I could make up an explanation, but can’t you just take my word for it? It works. Really.
1. Greasy fries and a bacon cheeseburger. This is where the ‘O’ would come in handy... and an unwrecked, loving, compassionate roommate who’s willing to go pick it up for you.

Five bands that I would love to see at Carnival

I love Spoon. My last.fm account will tell you that I listen to them fairly often (It will also tell you that I listen to the Backstreet Boys, but that’s irrelevant. And a secret.) and I’m glad that AB managed to bag them. I really am. But if I had had my way, these are the bands that would’ve rocked Carnival 2007.

5. ABBA. Matching Jumpsuits. Unrivaled choreography. Hot Swedish chicks. Need I say more?
4. Rammstein. They’re large, German, and a little intimidating, but we’d totally be the most hardcore school in the universe.
3. Justin Timberlake. This one has nothing to do with my love for music, just hormones.
2. 2gether. Remember the MTV boy band parody that was actually better than most of the actual boy bands? Remember calculus? You know, You + Me = Us? Yeah, them. Not only musicians but shrewd scholars of the human condition, these are the men who keenly observed: “The hardest part of breaking up is getting back your stuff.”
1. Journey. That’s right — I’m serious. Like anyone wouldn’t want to chill on the Cut listening to “Don’t Stop Believing.” In the words of the incomparable Adam West, “I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics.”