Fantasy Football: week eight

Last week’s match-up is still a little hard for me to talk about. I’m going to keep matters brief to minimize the pain. It was bad. I was on the losing side of a 101–72 match-up.

LeGarrette Blount rushed for negative three yards and earned zero points. The Jets D/ST allowed 30 points and almost 400 yards, raking in a whopping one point. And it gets worse.

Team Escamilla had Matt Stafford with 18 points, Marshawn Lynch with 18, Todd Gurley with 27, and the St. Louis D/ST with 21. These four players alone scored more than my entire team. But wait. There’s more.

I had the Giants D/ST on my bench, because why would I start them? And then, they caught three interceptions, returned one for a touchdown, recovered a fumble, and returned a kickoff for a touchdown. All this for 16 points. Also on my bench, Nate Washington received for 127 yards and scored two touchdowns, amounting to 24 points. Had I started them both, I could have won 107-101. But I’m not bitter.
Going into this week, the projections had me defeating Team Sizzling Fajitas 87-75, but of course projections never hold. But just after Thursday Night Football, things are looking a little different. We both have Patriots running backs, which is kind of weird to me. Unfortunately, his Dion Lewis just saw more action than my LeGarrette Blount.

I expect to lose the match-up at quarterback, too. Even though Russell Wilson and the Seahawks are pretty much universally expected to beat the Cowboys, it looks like Alex Smith and the Chiefs will come out on top of the Detroit Lions in their London match. Detroit is basically a total mess, they’ve had a lot of staffing changes recently. Plus Charcandrick West is pretty hot right now, and he and Smith have some good chemistry.

The past couple of weeks have been a little disappointing as a Le’Veon Bell owner. He scored eight against the Cardinals and 13 against the Chiefs, which is not what I expect from a number-one draft pick. This week, Pittsburgh faces the Cincinnati Bengals, who have been on a serious winning streak. I don’t feel like I can count on him to live up to his 16 point projection, even though he has historically done pretty well against the Bengals. Still, he’s matched up against Frank Gore of the Colts, who averages about nine points per game. Even though I’m reserving optimism for Bell, I think I have this match up.
At wide receiver I’m starting Decker and Washington. Unfortunately Pierre Garcon has a bye week, so I don’t have any other options. Decker might not even start, which would be seriously crushing along with Washington’s variable performance. In order to win this match up I need both players to actually play, and play their best. Fajitas is starting Michael Crabtree and Steve Smith Sr., who both have the potential to do some damage if they get the targets. I honestly have no idea how this match up will turn out because I still don’t really know anything about football.

On tight end, I’ve been pretty happy with Ladarius Green. (Can I be honest that I still don’t actually know what a tight end does? Someone remind me to google it [editor’s note: once upon a time a tight end was a sixth offensive lineman who occasionally got out to receive short and intermediate passes. Now, a tight end is a sixth receiver who occasionally blocks.] Antonio Gates returned from his suspension and then got a knee injury, so Green is still getting a good bit of targets. And when he does, he can really put up some points. Fajitas is starting Richard Rodgers, who has two first names, so he must be awful.
I actually did end up picking up Dexter McCluster, whose name sounds like something a rooster might choke out at 5 a.m., for my flex. This turned out to be an okay choice. He scored nine points in week six and six points in week seven, actually winning or tying both match ups. I think he’ll do well against Seattle’s Tyler Lockett, who’s just inconsistent.

I’m giving the Jets one last chance to not screw everything up this week against the Raiders, who have actually been somewhat of a force to be reckoned with this season. But Fajitas has the Chiefs D/ST facing the Lions, and the Lions offense might totally choke under new leadership. I’m going to try to be hopeful in my Jets, but only time will tell.

And at kicker, I finally have McManus back. During his bye, my backup kicker Nick Folk did have a solid 13 point performance, but I’m still totally taken with my man Brandon. Sports editor Zeke Rosenberg tells me this is getting creepy, which doesn’t matter to me. Match up irrelevant.

McManus is the only thing that matters.

Now that I’m 4–3, I’m not as confident in my team. I tried some random insulting trades and they haven’t panned out, so I think my only hope at this point is to actually try and understand football.