Advice for Awkward People


I'll keep this short and sweet: I can't handle the cold. Ever since the first day of class, everyone has been saying how it's going to snow tens of thousands of feet, and I don't think I can handle that. My friend Helvetica has been telling me to buy one of those puffy, fluffy, ugly marshmallow coats and some crazy huge boots, because apparently, Pittsburgh becomes the North Pole, complete with Santa and elves in the winter. I'm from Florida, the Sunshine State; Coral Springs, born and raised. I'm used to heat and humidity and sunlight, and ever since coming to Pittsburgh, I've been surprised at the whimsical weather patterns. I've never seen snow before, so I'm not sure what to expect, and I'm kind of worried. I've been anticipating snow and everything, and like not being able to feel my face, or whatever below-freezing temperatures do. I know it's probably going to be fine, but what if it's not? What if it's a winter-wonderland-turned-apocalypse, and I freeze to death because I am unprepared? I'm going full-on doomsday prep here, but I regret nothing. So I guess my question boils down to: What should I expect with winter? Is it going to be a grand-scale cataclysm or a dainty powdering?

Frightened Resident Overly Salty during this Time of Year


Winter is not that bad! I mean, sure there's the whole black ice thing and the car crash thing, and the frostbite, and the slipping and dislocating of hips, but that's just the tip of the iceberg! There's also hot chocolate and blankets and fireplaces and friendly, platonic cuddles. I realize that's all indoor stuff, but that's alright. Winter isn't something to fear; it's simply something to overcome. There's a lot of beauty in the ice and the snow, at least in the beginning, so as long as you're living here and exposed to it, you might as well find the beauty in the season. I do agree with your friend, however, that you will need a coat. Myself, I usually have three layers, a shirt, a sweater, and a coat, as well as gloves and a scarf, depending on how cold it is. As long as you budget your clothes accordingly, it'll all be fine, no cataclysm. There's plenty of powder, but as for the dainty part, that's only the early stages, when snow is still something that people enjoy seeing. In my mind, you have two options: Push through the winter, experience snow, live the Pittsburgh life, or hibernate for a few months, fail out of school, and become a bum come spring. Good luck!

Joshua Brown.

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