EdBoard 4/18: the stars of Carnival
Carnival Weekend was full of many exciting activities. Thus, for this week’s issue, the Editorial Board decided to highlight the best and brightest of Carnival. Without further ado, here are the celebrities of this year’s Carnival:
You know her and you love her, Carnival’s hottest celebrity was the thicccccccccccccccccccccccccc mud that swept the Cut all three days. She was on your shoes, on your jacket, on her girlboss grind. Pittsburgh rain was a paid actor in her story. You want to wear those sneakers again? You can’t. She’s already on them. What would Carnival have been without her? She’s an icon, a legend, and she is the moment. The futile attempts to avoid the mud just made other areas worse.
Mud’s accomplice and the star of Pittsburgh, rain was all over the Carnival scene. Rain was the indecisive queen of the weekend, not knowing whether to pour and pour or start and stop. Soaking the scene and giving Carnival that Pittsburgh glow, what would this weekend be without rain? The legend, a staple of Pittsburgh spring, rain was on the sigma male grindset. Her fickle attitude really shined after the cancellation of buggy finals.
And who could forget about the fashion statement of the weekend? Hard hats were everywhere except for the Booths. They were on the heads of all the hottest students, showing everyone whose hearts were really in the work. Going hard, these hats lived it up for Carnival.
You best believe the OG was on the scene at this year’s Carnival. Our girlie COVID owned the weekend infecting anyone and everyone. You thought it was over? You thought you could hang up your mask? You’re a fool and COVID knows it. She and her accomplice Influenza just couldn't wait to meet you. Carnival's a time for everyone to return, and lady COVID is no exception.
Obviously Carnival was one high class event, demanding a serious investment. You thought your tuition was expensive? Have you met the cash-demanding Carnival weekend? The vendors didn't accept Dinex or meal blocks, so our wallets were left gutted and crying. Every little event wanted cash, cash, and more cash. Wish your bank account luck, Carnival came for it.
Emergency Room Visits
Also known as the safest time of the year, Carnival is always full of cute little visits to the emergency room. Say hi to your favorite physicians while definitely totally in perfect health. These trips stole the weekend.
What fun would Carnival be if it was easy to go to the events? None. These lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng lines made sure your weekend was one to remember. Time flew by as you stood in them for hours having the time of your life. Forget the rides, lines were the real main attraction. As with all the best things in life, it wasn't about the destination, it was about the journey.
The Smell of Funnel Cake
Last but certainly not least, Alpha Phi Omega’s funnel cake booth filled Carnival with a delicious scent. Truly a wonderful addition to the weekend, this fraternity’s Carnival presence stole the show. A sweet star, the aroma of funnel cake made Carnival a smell to remember.