Patrick Hoskins Incredibly Handsome

Articles

• Advice for awkward people

  Dear Patrick,

  Is it true? Is this really your last column? Who will I turn to to solve my existential crises? Who will offer pithy solutions to my banal problems?

  Thanks,
  Ire Necessary, Escaping Everyone, Doubtless Yearning Oncoming Unavoidably

  Dear I NEED YOU,

  Pillbox | April 29, 2013
• Advice for awkward people

  Dear Patrick,

  Oh God, oh God, I’m so hung over. The light is blinding, and all the noise hurts. I feel like someone is trying unscrew my skull. What have I done to deserve this? WHAT HAS GOD WROUGHT!?!? How can I lessen this pain?

  Thanks,
  Ow! Hangover, Gosh, Ow, Drinks Torture, Hangover Everlasting, Please Answer, Imbibing Nonetheless

  Dear OH GOD THE PAIN,

  Pillbox | April 22, 2013
• Advice for awkward people

  Dear Patrick,

  I enjoy David Carradine’s movies a few nights a week. My friends are really judgmental of my hobby, but his films leave me feeling lightheaded and great. What can I do to convince my friends there’s nothing wrong with the occasional David Carradine?

  Thanks,
  Feeling Illicit, Latter’s Movies Banish Unusual Feelings Frequently

  Dear FILM BUFF,

  Pillbox | April 15, 2013
• Advice for awkward people

  Dear Patrick,

  Carnival is next week, and I’m really excited! ...except I don’t know exactly what Carnival entails. What’s the deal with Carnival? How can I best enjoy it?

  Thanks,
  Rarely Ever Tremendously Imbibed, Carnival Entices, Needs Tips Regarding Ensuing Vices, Easy Liquor, Eager Rampages

  Dear RETICENT REVELER,

  Pillbox | April 8, 2013
• Advice for awkward people

  Dear Patrick,

  I just read the April Fools’ Day issue of The Tartan, and I am very offended. Your article insulted my club/major/personal identity. I demand recompense! What’s the best way to go about attaining it?

  Thanks,
  Brusquely Upset, Satisfaction Yearned, But Otherwise Decent Yarn

  Dear BUSYBODY,

  Pillbox | April 1, 2013