Zivan Vasquez

Class of


  • Ukraine: Who to Ask?

    Fingernails the world over were chewed off and spat at any screen with Vladimir Putin on it following the invasion of Ukraine. Rivers of anxiety cross streams of tears as the world reels in horror. But what follows horror? Fear. And what follows fear? Another synonym. And after that? Confusion. Western Europeans, Eastern Europeans, Ukrainians, and most importantly, Americans, are struggling to mak...

    Pillbox | March 28, 2022
  • Teaching an Old A.I. New Critical Race Theory

    “With the current climate and rapid pace of machine learning, it really was only a matter of time,” said Carnegie Mellon statistician and legal scholar Randall DiMaggio when asked about the new critical race theory (CRT) trained AI, “Amy.” “Amy,” the pet name given to AMiRaSyst, which stands for “Adaptive Multiend Recursive System,” is the culmination of over three years of research and 200 millio...

    Pillbox | March 21, 2022
  • Auntie Tartan (for the homies!)

    Q. I’ve been seeing this guy for the last month or so, but he’s not willing to say we’re dating yet. How do I move this relationship to the next level?
    A. Don’t force him to say anything. Instead, just subtly escalate the relationship. When you’re holding hands, squeeze your wedding vows to him in Morse code. When you’re kissing in the rain, pause and ask if he’s seen “The Notebook.” Ask again. T...

    Pillbox | November 22, 2021
  • OnlyFans partners with body cam manufacturers in daring police reform

    Sex sells, and it might soon also protect and serve. While ostensibly a tool for accountability, one major criticism of body cams is that many officers conveniently turn them off when participating in, shall we say, “extrajudicial activities.” However, in a stroke of genius, OnlyFans has offered to partner with local law enforcement to incentivize the use of body cams. Now, police officers have a ...

    Pillbox | November 15, 2021
  • Auntie Tartan (back of the envelope)

    Q. I want to keep going to class, but it’s getting so cold; I prefer to stay in my warm bed. How do I get moving in the morning?
    A. When you think about it, the reason why beds are warm is that humans are warm. We heat our beds, which trap the heat and keep us cozy. So what remains is to reduce how much heat you produce. Start by eating colder things, like frozen yogurt or print-out screenshots o...

    Pillbox | November 15, 2021